so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
