this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Less talking, more tequila
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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