Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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