I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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