Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
