Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
try to milk me bitch
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
