Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
