I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
