Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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