Im at strip club and am horny
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
smell my finger.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
