I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize