I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
