I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
