dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
