the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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