I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
