He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
