Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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