the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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