I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
