Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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