Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
