We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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