She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
