tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
