another moral hangover. fuck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
