I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize