Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Four minutes until I can fart!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
