Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
