she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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