i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't deserve a penis
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
