Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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