WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
