Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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