i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
