you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
