The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm at about main and main street
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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