I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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