I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
