she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
