Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry isthatcourtney hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(219): View more from Indiana

I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.

Fav 46 1267 3954
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

Fav 27 3094 5218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets

(818): View more from California

julia child would be proud.

Fav 15 5054 1206
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob

Fav 193 2685 16382
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

Fav 17 9768 1649
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy

Fav 24 1324 1772
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

(785): View more from Kansas

Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

Fav 5 1278 605
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.

Fav 1 50 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success

Fav 0 61 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT