someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
