Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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(408): View more from California

At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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(408): View more from California

Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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(913): View more from Kansas

she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.

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(325): View more from Texas

Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..

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