1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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