Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
