Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
