dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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