Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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