I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
