I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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