called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
