I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
