Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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