You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
