I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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