You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
