Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
