Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
