I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
