i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
