This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
