part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
