dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize