What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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