East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Randomize
