I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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