She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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