actually, I'm a sock model
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
