I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
