She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
