I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
