Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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