Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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