Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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