Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
