from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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