Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize