it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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