eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
