Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
