they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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