I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
