you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize