people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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