Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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